Calvin- The Lawyer
Calvin is a bright, compassionate and beautiful young man. Because of that, when he's in the midst of misbehaving and out of range of my hands, he deliberately avoids all eye contact. Unlike when I was younger and there was a magnetic charge that drew my face up to my mother's, my son has this uncanny ability to sense my frustration and then avoid it. He will debate what color the sky is with you and by the end of the conversation you will start to question it yourself.
I know, in some ways, that I enable the dependency that my son has with me. His ADD requires a lot of attention, patience and deep breaths. He depends on me to be his human timer and I depend on him sticking to the schedule. I have this fear that at 30 years old he won't be able to leave the house without his wife laying out his ties.
When he tells me things like, "dad doesn't clean because he says that he didn't make the mess so it's not his job", I go into damage control mode. I panic and have visions of him accepting this mentality, this way of life. Right then we have a conversation about the need to help out even if it isn't our mess. If we work as a team then all of our jobs become easier AND as a bonus we get to live in a clean and organized house. I stress the fact that Adam is always cleaning up messes that he didn't make just to validate my point. The response I get is, "I know mom". And this tiny little voice inside me says, "Have faith".
Maisie- The Comedian
Maisie is infectious and daring and yet so cautious. I had just given her a piece of chocolate when Adam called from work. Maisie walked past me into the kitchen with a small orange bowl and her small piece of chocolate placed neatly in the bowl. I then went to check the mail and when I came back into the house Maisie handed me a small green bowl and says, "Snack". As I'm on the phone with Adam, I say to Maisie, "didn't you just have an orange bowl?” She responds, "It’s dirty" and sure enough she had thrown it into the sink. I then turned to her and said, "Where are you getting all these bowls?"....no response. I hear Adam say into the phone, "yea, about that"...."we need to look around the house for her bowls; she doesn't have any left in the cabinets".
Maisie is beginning to say things like, "Calvin broke the TV" and "Daddy broke the water bottle and threw it in the trash"...none of which are true. She's too young to understand the importance of telling the truth but just old enough to fib without realizing that it's wrong. She eventually found the water bottle in her Dora playhouse, her response, "Daddy, you didn't break the water bottle!"
Carson: The Thinker
I must say that Carson is my little piece of sanity. He burry’s his head right in to the crook of my neck and when he looks at me, his eye's get real big as if to say, "that's my mom". He's my glass of wine after a long day at work. He's always watching Maisie and Calvin, as if he's taking notes. He's determined as ever to grow up, always moving and kicking. His energy is so contagious.
Being the mother of two boys’ is night and day compared to being the mother of a little girl. I’m blessed to know both worlds. There is a common understanding that a mother and daughter have. As a mother, I can honestly say that I know what she's going through. And as a daughter I know that I can never tell her that. as I used to say to my mother, "you have no idea what I'm going through!” I look at my daughter and I want her to be strong, confident and independent. And then I look at my boys and I want them to be compassionate, caring and respectful. I want Maisie to be able to wipe away her tears the first time a boy breaks her heart and I want Calvin and Carson to understand that flowers are not meant to be given as an apology.
Adam says Calvin is a "momma's boy" and often wonders why Maisie is so attached to me even though I’m harder on her. There's a natural connection that we all have with our mothers, after all we are bound to them for 9 months. I see it even with my husband and his mother, but getting him to admit that would be like getting him to admit that I'm right. As mother's we are a happy mix between disciplinarians and the voice of reason.
My favorite part of the day is when I walk into my house after work. I look for Maisie and as soon as she sees me, her face lights up and she screams "MOMMY". No matter what kind of mood I'm in, it makes me smile. I brush my nose over the top of Carson’s fuzzy head and take in his baby scent and I sit with Calvin to hear all about his day. I love seeing how animated Maisie is and how much Calvin opens up to me when they talk about their day. For that short period of time before the mad rush to make dinner and get ready for bed, I forget about all the stress in our life. Because I'm doing my favorite thing in the whole wide world, being a mom.
