When I was pregnant with my daughter and my husband and I came home from a day out with the family on Christmas to find a waterfall in our bedroom, you would have thought that I needed to be medicated. I was a basket case when I was pregnant with my daughter, I cried all the time and I forgot everything. And not just major stuff but the basics like signing checks or sending my son to school with lunch. I had several tear filled phone calls with my supervisor, why he didn't request that I take an early leave is beyond me. My postpartum was even a struggle and more so, I believe, because I was frustrated with myself for feeling so negative. I had a home, a husband and two beautiful children who would be well provided for; I just wanted to get over it. And I eventually did, however, in hindsight I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have such high expectations on how a pregnant woman should behave. I went into this pregnancy expecting to be more accepting of my raw emotions and so far I'm wondering where all the water works are. There's a lot that we go through as women and every one of us deals with this miracle differently and probably differently each time. We are our own worst critics, so why be so judgmental towards others?
Currently I have this; "things happen for a reason so why lose sleep over it" sort of mindset going on. The supervisor for the construction at my office was kind enough to point that out to me, odd how some strangers can be so candid. Why would it bother me, he's right. It was almost good to hear, sort of like a reminder to pay attention, know when the right or wrong time is to care. For example, feelings shouldn't play a part in switching doctors, you're a patient and if you're not happy then it's an easy decision. Feelings shouldn't play a part at work, put simply, it’s business and if you're a woman you might as well be wearing a bulls eye on your forehead. Feelings also shouldn't play a part at a restaurant where the staff is being less then satisfying. Feelings SHOULD play a part when interacting with your children, family and friends. Feelings should also play a part when you tell your husband you’re going to throw his alarm clock out the window if it goes off one more time…and you actually look forward to doing it. And Feelings should also definitely play a part when your dog mistakes the neighbors Pomeranian for a chew toy. These are times when I have to step back and check myself, "Liz, please care, otherwise it may not end well".
We had a wonderful day yesterday; Calvin did so much work around the house. He lifted and moved and cleaned and often complained but he did it. His new room looks great and he's so excited to have a TV in there finally, even if it's with restrictions. The baby's room is almost ready, with 4 1/2 months left, we're looking pretty good. Maisie even went most of the day without Dora on the TV. It was going so great...and then Calvin took out the recycling. I was getting dressed so we could head out to pick up furniture when I heard the frantic scream for our dog Lily. I thought, "Great, she saw a cat and is running around the neighborhood, I better get outside before Calvin runs in front of car trying to catch her". As if time slowed down as I ran past our bay window and saw my neighbor turning in circles with his little schmoot of a dog hightailing it from the hungry beast that was on its hind leg. I opened the door to hear the horrid shriek and growl of two animals in combat while Calvin continued to scream at Lily. I flew across the street and grabbed our vicious dog who then immediately froze in fear when she realized momma had caught her doing something very bad. Calvin apologized to the neighbor as he held his yelping dog against his chest and I, who was too mortified to make eye contact, did a bee-line back to our house. Calvin was in full ADD reaction mode and had a complete meltdown in the living room while his 2 year old sister rubbed his back and said, "you okay buddy?” I had to ask him to go into his bedroom while I went out to face the neighbor. With his ADD, I couldn't sugar coat the issue at hand, when he's in meltdown mode he needs to self soothe before I can soothe. There were one of two things that could happen (a) they would press charges and our dog would need to be put down or (b) we offer to pay all the medical expenses and pray that it satisfies them. As most of us know, emergency vet visits aren't cheap so either way our good day was over. And yes, I don't know why the neighbor didn't just pick up his 5 pound dog when he saw another dog come barreling out of a yard barking and growling. But I'm keeping these feelings in check.
So how do you ground a dog, teach them that what they did was very wrong, and keep them from behaving that way ever again? I believe that was the most frustrating realization of the evening. Lily forgot what she did 20 minutes after it happened, however, the look on my face obviously suggested that it was best to stay on the dog bed for the rest of the day.
I guess the question that I keep going back to is, “Why aren’t I in full meltdown mode?” and my one conclusion is it must be because I'm carrying a mellow, zen like child who's rationale is wearing off on me OR it could be my hormones and this "things happen for a reason so why lose sleep over it" sort of mindset. My rationale on the situation is that nothing will be solved with a meltdown. Making phone calls and keeping in touch with our neighbors is the best we can do right now. We should look at it as a life lesson. We always knew Lily wasn't a fan of female dogs, now that she's crossed the line past barking and growling maybe it's time for a behavior course at our local SPCA. After Calvin calmed down, I explained to him what could happen, I then told him about the time that my own dog bit my face and left me with a dimple. He wanted to know what Mimi (my mother) did and I told him she was mad and said we may have to get rid of her and I cried and got really upset. I told him that I understand now why she said that and that’s why I needed to be upfront with him so he knew what to expect to. He asked what he could do and I told him to pray, that's all we can do right now. We will fix what we can but everything else needs to be left in God's hands.
No comments:
Post a Comment